In which we meet a constant companion
Anxiety was small and wrinkly when he nestled into my chest cavity.
Two giant eyes goggled outward at the world beyond my body, decided it wasn’t for him, and he settled back inside.
Now full-grown with a handsome sheen, Anxiety makes himself felt.
He doesn’t like breathing into armpits on trains, or overhearing people who roll anger around their mouths. He doesn’t like navigating new places, or new people.
Sometimes he doesn’t like leaving the flat.
Two unsteady feet hold my stomach in a death grip, with a squeeze-claw-squeeze when he shifts.
He flutters gusty wings in agitation, fluffing against lung and making it harder to draw breath.
And then there’s the head bobbing. An endless tapping that fills my gullet and knocks again and again on my chest wall.
He’ll calm when he’s talked to, sung to, or breathed at.
And he’s as greedy as his out-of-body brethren, deflating when fed.
I can’t evict him, so I paste on a smile,
And wish I had a pigeon named ‘Poise’ instead.
When it’s putting this way it helps a lot to better understand the condition.
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Thank you 🙂
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Well, the pigeon in the picture is beautiful.
Also, describing anxiety as if it were a pigeon tucked inside is so weirdly accurate.
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Thank you! I’ve nicknamed him Henry VIII, I should frame him up like a real monarchical portrait…
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Maybe is the perception you are having
or anxiety is disguised as a beautiful bird
Maybe this could work or maybe not
anxiety disguised as a beautiful bird
is not reality depicted right in the world
the song of anxiety is not like a pigeon
pigeons sing sweet songs, we’ve heard
Anxiety is something we need to get rid
as beautiful anxiety can seem to us
entrance to our soul we have to forbid.
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Thank you for posting your thoughts! I think you’re right about anxiety sometimes seeming like a helpful friend/something to rely on, I definitely feel that way sometimes. And in the end it is definitely better to be as anxiety free as we can be 🙂
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Exactly!! Hope you stay strong in the fight.
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My name means pigeon in German, so of course this makes all the sense!
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Haha I hope your pigeon behaves itself 😀
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