In which I’m really appreciative

It’s a lot to sign up for: 

The cancelled dates, 

The midnight wakes,

The fact that there’s nothing to do but wait.

There’s the job I left, 

The dances I missed, 

Those times excuses were forced from your lips. 

There’s the rattle of medication,

The waiting lists marching in endless succession,

And the journeys made in a single direction.

It’s all in the knowledge that there is no, ‘and then’.

There is only this. 

You signed up without pause,

So for you, I’ll add the small print:

You’re signed up until ‘a lot’ is too much.